


The Weight of Expectations

by DinoRoar



Series: Parchments of Prompt Responses [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Breaking Up & Making Up, Drarry, Gay Draco Malfoy, Gay Harry Potter, Guilt, Happy Ending, Heart-to-Heart, Heartache, Heartbreak, Hogwarts, Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Communication, M/M, Making Up, Post-Break Up, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26530264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinoRoar/pseuds/DinoRoar
Summary: "My heart hurts Harry, my heart is aching and it's because of you." Harry didn't know how to cope with the mounting expectations building against him, so he did what he knew best, he distanced himself from everyone. Now he's thinking straight once again, he's realised he's let the best thing in his life go, and now he has to beg for a second chance.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Parchments of Prompt Responses [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719328
Kudos: 65





	The Weight of Expectations

"My heart hurts Harry, my heart is aching and it's because of you," he was a bundle of blankets, the top of his head sticking out and his voice muffled as he pressed his face into the fabric of his homemade cocoon. Harry's heart ached at the sight of the man he adored, falling to pieces, and breaking down, because of his actions. He sat on the floor, facing the sofa Draco was curled up on, the Room of Requirement was the place they had spent so much time solidifying their relationship. It only made sense that would be where Draco would go to mourn the failure of said relationship. Harry had sneaked up there during dinner with a twisted idea that it would ease both of their pain to talk about it all.

"I'm sorry Draco, I'm so sorry. You know I didn't want it to end this way." It had been a few days and neither had taken the breakup well, Draco had isolated himself from everyone, was barely eating and truly had his friends worried. Harry tried to hide behind the mask of being the Chosen One, smiling and laughing away as he carried on with his usual routine, and yet his smiles never reached his eyes and his green eyes were filled with pain and guilt. This was what he had wanted after all, and yet all he could feel now was regret, he had made a mistake and he was almost positive it was too late to fix it.

"You broke up with me Harry, I thought everything was going fine, I was in love with you, and you ripped my heart out and stomped all over it. You broke me, I'm actually broken," it was as if saying the words out loud finalised them in Draco's mind and he began to sob, muffling his tears in the blankets he had surrounded himself with. His arms wrapped around his chest as he tried to contain his pain, to hold everything in until he was alone. He couldn't allow himself to fully breakdown in front of Harry, he didn't want to show him how much pain he had caused.

"I didn't want it to be like that, I didn't want to do that to you." The pain in his voice was clear, as was the guilt Harry felt, his voice cracking as he spoke. He had never wanted to hurt Draco, he truly loved the boy, and yet he had caused him so much hurt it was agony.

"But you did, you did do that Harry," Harry was so used to seeing Draco so proud, standing tall and ready to face the world with the most sarcastic of quips and witty remarks, to see him so broken tugged at his heart, piling the guilt upon his shoulders and weighing him down.

"If I pour my heart out, can you keep a promise," he knew it was a stupid thing to ask, that Draco owed him nothing, let alone the promise of secrecy.

"I'm not promising anything to you Harry, not after what you did to me," the disbelief was clear in the words, as if Draco couldn't believe that Harry actually had the balls to ask something of him. Breaking his heart and then still thinking he could ask him to keep a secret. Draco wondered if he had somehow ended up in an alternate timeline, because surely there was no way Harry had actually asked that of him.

"Understandable I suppose. I love you, more than anything. I honestly could see us getting married one day, living in a cottage in the countryside, or maybe a manor because I know that's more your style." Harry was gazing at the walls, as if he couldn't bear to look Draco in the eye as he told him of his dreams for a future together, as he admitted everything he had wished for them to have. He knew the pain it would cause, to hear about his dreams and know they would never come to reality, he tortured himself with them every day, constantly wishing things could have been different. "I could envisage us adopting children, going on holidays and living happily together for the rest of our lives."

It would have been an amazingly happy future, Harry could just imagine finally having the opportunity have a family of his own, sharing his heart and love with others, those who would appreciate and love him for who he was inside, and not for his fame. They would explore the world, visiting exotic locations across the globe, Quidditch matches on the weekends, a life filled with new experiences and excitement at every turn. With a bitter, mirthless chuckle Harry shook his head, it was just a dream now, he had ruined the possibility of it ever being a reality.

Draco couldn't believe that this was what Harry wanted to discuss, the future that they could have shared together, if not for Harry tearing those dreams apart when he broke Draco's heart. Draco too had dreamed of their future together. He had envisioned them both living in the refurbished Potter Manor, giving them the freedom to be who they wanted away from everyone else. Harry would go off to work every day, most likely as an Auror, and Draco would stay at home exploring both he creation of potions and rare manuscripts, something that had always interested him, but he'd been unable to dedicate any time to. He could see them both being the doting and loving parents that their adopted children would need, bringing them into their home and showing them they deserved to be loved, accepting them for who they were no matter their differences. It hurt even more to hear Harry talk about the possibilities with such longing in his voice, knowing it was no longer a feasible plan.

"Why are you telling me this, are you trying to hurt me even more?"

"No, I'm telling you because I'm scared Draco. I'm scared of what people will think of me, of what they'll say about me, about us. So instead of facing those fears, I thought breaking up with you would be easier. To not have to face those fears at all, to just pretend that none of this existed," the words sounded hollow to even him. They were a desperate plea for Draco to understand that his actions hadn't been due to lack of love, but had instead formed from a fear, a fear of how others would view him, how they already viewed him. Yet Harry knew that Draco wouldn't be pacified so easily, that his hurt outweighed the anger he felt towards the situation, and his words could only go a short way in healing the wounds.

"You can be a right fucking idiot sometimes Harry Potter," the anger was thick in his voice as he shot up from the mass of blankets he had taken comfort within, he was a bundle of barely contained anger and frustration, "you broke up with me because you're scared of what others would say about us? Do you not think I'm scared every day at what people must think, about me, my sexuality and about my relationship with you? I love you and you took everything we had and threw it down the drain."

"I know Draco. I know I fucked up, okay, I was fucking scared and I took it out on you. All of the pressure of everyone's expectations just pushed me down and I didn't know what to do anymore," the frustration was clear in Harry's voice, he didn't want to take anything out on Draco, knowing that he had caused this, but at the same time he needed him to listen and understand what had caused this. He had listened to everyone's expectations of what the Chosen One should be, the kind of life he should live, and Harry felt like he couldn't breathe, he couldn't even be Harry anymore. Nothing he did was good enough when it came to the Wizarding World, and he was sick of it. He felt like a puppet that everyone but him could control, and in his revolt, he took the one thing he had that he controlled, that he was able to create the rules for, and threw it away along with everything else that controlled him. It had been a mistake, but at the time all Harry wanted was to be free of all constraints.

"I understand trying to live up to expectations Harry, my father is Lucius Malfoy remember. He's the King of expectations. Throw in the majority of Pure-Blood society watching and waiting for me to marry an appropriate Pure-Blood woman to provide my family with an heir, trust me I understand what you're going through. What I don't understand is why you didn't think to talk to me about this, to communicate your feelings and your fear, so we could work through them, together." The anger had simmered away, replaced with confusion, and hurt, as he tried to understand why the boy he loved didn't think he could come to Draco and discuss his fears and worries. Surely that was what a relationship was? Being there for the person you loved no matter what, providing support in times of need and showing them that no matter what, they were always loved. It hurt Draco to think that he hadn't been enough for Harry to feel supported in his time of need, that the only way he felt free was alone.

"I don't really know how to communicate Draco, how to share those kinds of feelings. I wish I did, I wish I could take this all back, turn back time and never have this happen. I wish we could go back to the days when we'd sneak out and curl up in the Astronomy Tower to watch the stars. I miss everything we had Draco; I miss it so much it hurts." Tears began to stream down his cheeks as he finally gave in to the emotions that had been swarming him for days. He didn't know how to cope with everything, and he his family hadn't exactly taught him ho to discuss his thoughts and feelings before. Instead, he suffered in silence and lashed out, it was all he knew. The guilt and the pain at losing the most important person in his life had been overwhelming, he'd never faced a pain like it before and didn't know what to do. He wished that he had a time turner and could take him back to the evening where he ruined everything and stop himself.

"I miss it too Harry. I miss it so much, but I don't know if we can ever go back to being what we were. I don't know if I can put my heart on the line for you like that again," it was everything he had expected to hear, and yet wished he wouldn't. It was understandable, why would Draco willingly put himself back in the line of fire, opening himself up to potentially being hurt once again. If anything, it would have been more surprising if he had said yes and thrown himself back into a relationship with Harry. How could he have expected him to immediately say yes to such a huge thing, and yet he was still willing to fight for the chance.

"Please, please can we try Draco, all I'm asking for is a chance. A chance to try and see if we can do it again, to see if we can be us again. Surely that's worth a chance at saving." If begging was what it took to be given that chance, Harry was willing to get on his knees and beg for the rest of his life, he needed Draco back in his life, as his only pillar of strength. He had never realised how much he had lent on Draco, how much support he provided him with and how important his presence was within Harry's life. He was the only person who truly knew and understood Harry.

It was wearing Draco down, he could see how guilty Harry felt, how much he regretted his actions and how desperate he was to have Draco back in his life. Draco felt similarly, he craved Harry, craved his presence, his touch, and his whole person. he wasn't sure if he could do it though, would it hurt too much, would his heart be crushed once again? Would he come to regret the decision he made no matter what he did? In years to come would he regret never taking the opportunity, the leap of faith that was Harry. Or would it all go downhill and would he end up wallowing in pools of his own tears once again. Draco could never know, not unless he decided to take that leap into the unknown, take his fate into his own hands and make the decision himself.

"It all depends on you." There he was, taking his fate into his own hands. Deciding that the only way he would know if it was a good decision was by throwing himself in headfirst. There was no way that he could know if he would end up heartbroken once again, and there was no way he could know if everything would work out perfectly and they'd spend the rest of their life together. No one could know without him deciding to just go for it.

"I will change. I will change everything. If you'll give us another shot then I'll do anything Draco, I want us to work out, I want us to be a forever kind of thing," he pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose as he made eye contact with the man whose heart he had broken. His eyes were pleading for Draco to believe him, to give him that second chance that he desperately needed, his hopes for the future were completely dependent on Draco's answer, and whether he felt that Harry was worthy of a second chance.

"I'm willing to give it a second chance, but we both have to put the effort in, because I can't do this again Harry. I look an utter mess," reaffirming his words he wiped at his face with the sleeves of his robes, soaking them in his tears with a look of utter dismay and disgust. Draco hated to show emotion in general, but he especially hated it when he looked weak. He supposed that was something that stemmed from his childhood and the way he was raised, under the critical and ever watching eyes of the Pure-Blood Society.

"I won't I swear, I vow I'll do anything for us to work," the honesty was so clear in his voice, that Draco knew he would do anything to save themselves and their relationship. It made it easier to try again, knowing that they were both willing and ready to put the effort in.

"Good. Well, you better get over here and so we can cuddle and talk things out. May as well start with everything out in the open," Draco unwound the blankets, nodding to Harry who immediately bounded over to cuddle in their shared heat, together once again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was not intended to be this long, or this angsty but I kind of love it...let me know your thoughts! If you love Drarry, then I've got more on my profile, a collection of one-shots 'The Manuscripts of Our Love' and a two-shot, 'Ink Stained Fingertips'. Enjoy!!!


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